I don't know what I feel&I don't know what I did. I feel out of control. I don't know what to do or say because everything I say she tells me is wrong.
I think sometimes about just being done but can't bring myself to that point. But she sometimes makes me think that's where I should be if I'm so bad. Not just her but she's the most vocal about it. I wish I knew how to feel but I don't, I wish I knew the right things to say or wear, but I don't.
"You are rude, you have bad grades" is all I hear but never any praise, she wonders why I'm like this, but she fails to realize I am the product of her. Never being raised by him to my recollection leaves all of what I am on her. He didn't shape who I was he made me who I wasn't, and won't be. I can't understand what I'm saying and why it's wrong but apparently it is.
I'm lost, and for the first time I don't think anyone's there to help me out, and for the first time I don't know how. I have no idea where I'm going or what's next for me but I don't know how to feel in control when I'm constantly being told I'm doing wrong things.
Time after time of being told you don't work hard, you don't manage your time well, you need to go in and get help, or my favorite is you're rude all the time and are NEVER nice to me. You start to believe what's put in your head, and wonder if that's how everyone sees me.
I can't even look at my reflection and think nice things so how should anyone else?
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