Megan: “Hello girls, how
are you this evening?”
Rachel and Asha: “We’re good,
thanks!”
Megan: “First I would
just like to say sorry for your loss, this must be so difficult for both of
you. I’ll start with Asha. Being the youngest and the closest to Sarah, how did
this affect you?”
Asha: “At first it was
like I was numb, I couldn’t feel anything. Which was weird because you usually
associate death with grieving and pain, but in all honesty I didn’t believe she
was actually gone. I kept telling myself that there is no way she could be
dead.”
Megan: “And Rachel how
about you, how did Sarah’s passing affect you?”
Rachel: “Being the least
connected to Sarah was difficult because at first I don’t think my mind
completely understood that she was gone. Sitting at her funeral was difficult,
but if anything I felt more guilt than I felt grief.”
Megan: “This must be so
tough for both of you, but if you could have said I thing to Sarah before she
died, what would you say?”
Asha: “If I could have
said one thing to Sarah, it would have been thank you. I would have said thank
you, because she showed me how to be positive through the toughest things in
life, and no matter what, you have to keep moving on.”
Rachel: “I suppose you’re
looking for a sappy answer like Asha gave, but I don’t have one. If I could say
one thing to Sarah it would be the complete opposite of what I had interrogated
her about right before she died.”
Megan: “Rachel, it
seems as though you know something more of the “accident” that occurred on this
day, do you care to elaborate?”
Rachel: “I know that what
happened wasn’t an accident, and it wasn’t a murder, she jumped. Sarah took her
own life that day, and jumped. I also know the reason she killed herself wasn’t
because she was depressed, or had cancer again, but she died because the guilt
she felt was eating her alive.”
Megan: “What did she
feel so guilty about that she felt the only way to relieve that guilt was to
take her life?”
Rachel: “When I was with
David, Sarah’s boyfriend at the time, he had told me that he and Sarah were
responsible for a hit and run accident that had killed young boy. With this
information, I finally saw my chance to confront Sarah, who was no longer so
perfect, and chastise her about the car accident.”
Megan: “Why did you want
to interrogate her about it?”
Rachel: “Ever since we
were little I have always been the middle child, the girl with a pretty face, I
could never donate bone marrow and save the day like Asha, and I wasn’t the
Sarah the sickly child. I was always stuck in the middle, and I saw my chance
to get ahead.”
Megan: “Asha, did you
know about this?”
Asha: “I didn’t know why
Rachel felt the need to ask about the accident, but I did know about the truth
behind the accident.”
Megan: “What was your
first reaction when you found out?”
Asha: “When I found the
box in Sarah’s closet, I was stunned. I could not figure out why Sarah, my
perfect older sister, would have a shirt with what seemed to be dried blood on
it, and newspaper clippings from a random boy’s obituary. Nothing seemed to
make sense.”
Megan: “Did your
feelings toward Sarah change?”
Asha: “No, because she
was still my sister, it was more or less just a lot of confusion. I guess I
just couldn’t picture her doing such a thing. She was the good one, the one who
through all of the chemo and hell that came with having cancer twice, would
never in a million years would have been responsible for the murder of Brandon. The boy who left
college to live a little, far away from his home, and just in an instant, it
was gone.”
Megan: “Do either of you
wish you could say something to Brandon? “
Rachel: “No, because
nothing I could ever say to him would change what happened.”
Asha: “I don’t know if I
wish I could say something to him, but I think I’d want to know if he knows
Sarah.”
Megan: “Do you think he
would know Sarah, Rachel?”
Rachel: “I mean maybe, but
if I were him I’d be so mad. He probably wanted her to die.”
Megan: “Where do you
girls think that Sarah is? Do you think that she is in Heaven, or that her
spirit is back with the universe?”
Rachel: “I suppose a few
months ago I would’ve said that she was with the universe, but now I guess I
don’t really know where I think she is. Most days I don’t even know where I
am.”
Asha: “I think that with
all the recent changes, I’ve had a change of heart. I want to believe that she
is in heaven flying with all of the other beautiful angels. I can just imagine
her with her long white-blonde hair, and big wings swaying in the wind.”
Megan: “Okay girls, I
have one final question for you this evening. Would you ever take Sarah’s
place, why or why not? It’s okay to say no.”
Rachel: “Some days I wish
Sarah and I’s roles were reversed, which is probably why I attempted suicide. I
guess that I figured that I’d be the first one to go because I wasn’t the sick one
whom everyone fell over, and I wasn’t Asha, the youngest one who saved the day.
I guess my final answer would be no, but not because I’m being selfish, but
because I think that I’ve finally started learning how to be loving and caring.
In a way I think that a part of Sarah lives in me, because as soon as she
passed I started to care more, and changed for the better.”
Asha: “Yes and no. Yes
because I wish that Rachel would have been able to have the bond with Sarah
that I did, but no because I know that
Sarah wouldn’t have wanted it to be any other way. I think that Sarah, although
she is dead, watches what goes on with Rachel and I, and I believe that she
loves watching our family come together again. Sarah is where she belongs, she
is no longer sick, and is guilt free, but she is still with us, and always will
be.”
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